Thoughts on Freedom

Today is the celebration of America's independence from England. We will grill out and blow up some fireworks to pay homage to our founding fathers who sacrificed to bring us this freedom, but what are we really doing today? Over the years I have wanted to proudly fly the American flag from my porch like other Americans I see, but my loyalties are ultimately not here.

When I was a little girl, A&E showed a musical about black folks in America. In one segment, there were slaves, singing:

This world is not my home,

I'm only passing by.

My friends and all my treasures

Are all laid up on High. 

I miss my friends and loved ones

Who have gone I know not where.

Still I can't feel at home

In this land any more.

I still sing that even though I cannot even remember the rest of the song. This world, this country, this house- none of it- is my home at all. The Lord has put me on a path to eternity in His presence and having looked and seen the Prize, how could I ever turn back? How could I be counted worthy if I ever put my hand to the plow and look back (Luke 9:62)? Ultimately, where does true freedom come from?

What even is Freedom? According to Merriam Webster online dictionary:

1

: the quality or state of being free: asa : the absence of necessity, coercion, or constraint in choice or actionb : liberation from slavery or restraint or from the power of another : independencec : the quality or state of being exempt or released usually from something onerous <freedom from care>d : ease, facility <spoke the language with freedom>e : the quality of being frank, open, or outspoken <answered with freedom>f : improper familiarityg : boldness of conception or executionh : unrestricted use <gave him the freedom of their home>

2

a : a political rightb : franchise, privilege

So, actually Yeshua the Messiah has made me free. I am liberated from sin. Of course then there has to be a definition of sin. Again, going to the dictionary we see this:

1

a : an offense against religious or moral lawb : an action that is or is felt to be highly reprehensible <it's a sin to waste food>c : an often serious shortcoming : fault

2

a : transgression of the law of Godb : a vitiated state of human nature in which the self is estranged from God

Being free means not being punished for breaking God's law

Reunion, Pound Cake, and Sourdough

This weekend is my 20 year class reunion. It's hard to believe that it's been 20 years since I was a teenager in high school! Time flies, as they say. The festivities seem to be very family friendly. I probably won't go though. We are in the middle of remodeling the house so every moment we have we do something toward that end. If I do end up going it will be to the Saturday picnic at the Tot Lot in Boone. My girls are a little old for that place but they still do have some fun. :)

Today I made my first ever pound cake. The recipe was for whole wheat pound cake, which is good because that's what I make everything out of. It's actually 1/2 pond cake.

1/2 pound of butter

2 cups raw sugar

6 eggs

2 cups whole wheat flour

1 tsp. vanilla

1/4 tsp. sea salt

Yeah, the recipe says all that. You can use regular sugar, white flour and regular salt, but I suspect it won't taste as good. :)

So, cream the butter and sugar. Add the eggs one at a time. Add the vanilla. Add the flour and salt together. Bake in a well greased loaf pan or bunt pan for one hour at 325 degrees. It's delicious. I think next time I will also add a little lemon flavoring too. I've always had them with lemon, but never with whole wheat until now. I'm not sure why I have just felt so intimidated with making pound cake! In fact, I am aware I make horribly ugly cakes, but this came out perfect! I was so surprised. It's probably because I try to use whole wheat in every cake recipe. They always taste great but they're hardly ever pretty. Maybe I should stick to making bread!

Speaking of bread, we made some whole wheat sourdough bread as well. I had thrown some flour and water in a jar last week and just kept doing it for several days. Once it bubbled and smelled like it wanted to be made into something else besides the little ecosystem it had become, I thought I might make some bread. BUT IT WAS TOO HOT!!!! So, I fed it more. I dont' discard any sourdough starter at all. I sometimes forget about it in the back of the fridge for months, but I never get rid of it unless it either molds (which has happened when the nights are too cold), or....well, I've used it all but I can't think of another time I just threw it out. Anyway, for three extra days I just put in a cup or flour and a cup of water. I know, sourdough purists would not do that, but hey- I'm not a baker- I'm a homemaker who also makes bread. :) So, it was a much larger mass when I finally decided it had to become bread. I separated out some starter to save and dumped the rest in the Bosch mixer. I ground some hard red wheat into flour and added a little water to the mixer, some flour and salt, kneaded, made loaves and waited for a while. Even though at times it just felt too hot today, I was blessed with all that heat because I didn't have to wait too long for it to be ready to bake! I baked it at 375 degrees for about 30 minutes. I didn't mist the oven or add any moisture for a thicker crust- I just trusted that the little yeastie beasites knew what to do and the crust would be fine. The crust was fine. In fact, this is the best sourdough I have ever in my life made! I hope to repeat this success in the near future despite not measuring.

Birthday Reflections

Another trip around the sun has come to an end for me. It is a bittersweet time. Over most of my life, birthdays have not been a big deal to me. My parents threw me parties with cake and ice cream when I was little. Occasionally, friends bought me things as a teenager, but the day went largely unmarked. My birthdays haven't been the things my children's birthdays were early on (a mistake we soon stopped making). There haven't been grand parties, only little family gatherings if that. That was really until I met my Mother-in-law, who we all called Nana. She loved throwing parties and making the center of attention the person with the birthday. She had grand events for Easter, Independence day, Halloween, all birthdays, and Christmas. Memorial and Labor Days were both cause to celebrate. I had been to many a party in my young years- usually for no reason at all other than it was Friday night, but not her. She married at 17 and lived the life of a good girl. She loved to celebrate the life of people she loved, folks who worked hard for her, and soldiers who fought and died for her freedom. She especially loved religious holidays. They weren't particularly solemn, and sometimes I wasn't sure that they were actually in celebration of the Savior, but they were regular. You could count on the holiday celebration coming at the right time each year! Over the years in which I knew her, our family had it's doctrinal differences with her but overall we all knew we loved the same Yeshua, our Savior. It's been almost 3 years since she has gone home to be with Him. For 3 years no one has celebrated my existence quite the way she did. I know my family does love me and they do exactly as I have insisted for many years....but I honestly miss it. And I miss her. Even though her favorite holiday was Christmas, it's my own birthday that I notice her being gone the most. My husband and children like to cater to whatever I  want to do. She would have scheduled games and food. My little family wants whatever I want. She was a force to be reckoned with when it came to organizing a party. So, today, as I begin my next trip around the sun, I have to stop and think about the people in my life: the ones I have now, the folks from my past, and the ones who have passed away. I have to wonder how loving my family has changed having known her. I have to think about the ones who I still have here and how they impact me. I hate to admit it, but I really didn't see her impact fully (and likely still don't) until she was gone. I had to be removed from the daily care of a sick person to realize that in life as well as illness, she changed me.

Then I think of my Savior: His life and death changed me as well....more than she did and for all eternity. I think of the apostle John, watching Him die then being charged with caring for Mary, His mother as if she was his own. I think of Mary, His mother, having to watch as her Son cared for her welfare even at the last of His life. No other death I have seen has been that way. No one thinks of other people when they are dying. Nana was really just asleep for the last days of her life on earth. He was fully awake and aware of everything going on. He knew that His death would mean life to everyone who would accept Him. Our deaths mean eternity stares us in the face- a place that there are only two path- both forward, depending on our choice here in life. If we believed the account of YHWH's Messiah, our eternity is in His presence. If we deny it, our eternity is always outside of His presence in torment. Eternity. It's forever. I can't even imagine it at all!

I pray my own life makes people who know me reflect on their lives and especially on their choice. I knew a woman once who died never having claimed to believe in anything. My heart grieves for her, but also wonders at what did she not see in my own life to never talk to anyone about eternity. Talking is great, but hearts are where the real changes take place. Do I reflect the beauty of Yeshua to the world? Can anyone see in my habits and celebrations that I love the Lord? What legacy am I building to point anyone in the right direction? My children? Friends? Strangers? Because really, we're all in the same boat- we are all going to be judged and we all have the same choice before us daily.